“If a brother or sister sins, go and point out the fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church…” (Matthew 18:15-17)

The wisdom of Jesus never ceases to amaze me. In just a couple of verses, He teaches us to handle conflict, bring about reconciliation, and build unity. When you have a problem with someone, go to that person and work it out (in Matthew 5, He tells us to take care of it before we go to worship). Then, if they two of you just can’t work it out, get a few more people involved. And if that doesn’t work, as a last resort, take it before the church.

It is such a marvelous and effective plan to deal with conflict. So why don’t we do it? Because its easier (and maybe more fun) to tell our spouse, or some friends, or even the elders. We can get them to sympathize with us, take our side, and tell us how wrong the other person is. Of course, the main problem with such an approach is that it is contrary to Scripture. But beyond that, it doesn’t seek to solve the problem (and will likely make it worse). It is mean, underhanded, cowardly and divisive.

Conflict is inevitable. We must choose how we will deal with it. My advice is to follow the direction of Jesus, and “Settle matters quickly…”(Matthew 5:25).