Written by Not long ago, I wrote about “Safe and Comfortable Christianity” (read the post Here). I conlcuded that piece by stating: “There are many spiritual gifts listed in Scripture – many ways in which you can be involved in the work of Jesus in this world. Being a Pew Warmer is not one of them.”
I want to revisit that, because it is apparent that this is more of a problem than I had thought. I’ve seen it in every church I’ve worked with in my 12+ years of full-time ministry — people who are content to sit back and let about 20% of the congregation do almost all of the work. People who are quick to complain about the church, but not so quick to do anything to make it better.
The problem recently hit me right between the eyes. My wife serves on the Education Committee at our church, and they are currently getting things ready for the fall quarter. This means lining up teachers for the children’s classes, and they are having a difficult time finding some people who are willing to teach (other than the few who teach constantly and are in danger of getting burned-out). We have a congregation that has an average Sunday morning attendance of about 240. And we can’t seem to find a handful of folks willing to teach our kids. That is just disgraceful. Oh, we hear lots of excuses and lots of explanations. I could understand if someone was already involved in ministry, but most of the people giving excuses are not involved. They are just Pew Warmers.
To be completely honest with you….. I wish they would go warm someone else’s pew. Because not only do they refuse to get involved in ministry, but they are usually the first ones to complain when something happens that they don’t like, or when they think the church (or the elders, or the ministers) is not doing what they think it should be doing.
My wife is about as frustrated as she can be. She is over-involved (almost to the point of burn-out). She teaches children’s classes, volunteers in the nursery, coordinates Wednesday night fellowship meals in the summer, heads-up our Wonderful Wednesday program, does bulletin boards, and serves on the Education Committee. And when she goes to ask someone to teach a children’s class for one quarter, she gets responses like, “Nah.” Or, “I’m too busy.” How we long to have folks come up to us and say, “What can I do to serve? What can I do to help? How can I contribute? How can I serve?”
If any of you who are wiser and more experienced have suggestions and/or solutions to this problem, I would love to hear them.
To any members of our congregation who may be reading this — please don’t come to me and complain about our church, our leaders, our ministries, etc. — unless you’re also planning to get involved and work positively to make things better. If you’re just coming to complain, I don’t want to hear it. You’re wasting my time.
Jeff I am proud of you for your honesty. (Although when I told Jimmy that Jane asked if we could help teach he said I needed to tell her “I am doing a good work. I cannot come down.”) I wish I had a solution.
Another problem of the 20% doing so much is that it often forces some of that 20% to teach when it is not a gift. And that’s sad because some of that 80% is bound to be blessed with that gift. So instead of the best people for teaching actually teaching, people who are able to teach are teaching.
I like the approach that Rick Warren’s church takes: if you’re not going to serve, don’t come. We don’t want numbers, we want servants. The fear in trying to do that where we are is that it would become an unhealthy “Look what I did!” game. Which means a lot is getting done, but the heart behind the action is unpure.
Anyway. Thanks for your honesty. And thanks for your wife. She IS an awesome servant. Now she just needs to get Nehemiah’s response down.
P.S. Here is a video from Igniter Videos called The Me Church. http://www.ignitermedia.com/mechurch.asp
The website synopsis of the video says:
We live in a ‘me first’ society. The world encourages us to think of ourselves first and others . . . well, rarely. We can sometimes be so consumed with this mentality that we even expect our church to cater to us.
In portraying these ridiculous requests, this vignette serves as a humorous reminder that we should not ask our church to serve us. We should eliminate our grumblings about the style of music, the congregation size, and other issues. We should instead remember that Christ came to serve, not to be served.
I typed and then deleted my entire comment. My wise answer is …. I don’t know.
Jeff,
Well said! My question to you is something I have wondered for a long time. Where are the elders in these instances? Every congregation I have ever attended has this same problem and I have never seen an elder, with a firm hand, get in front of a congregation, on a SUNDAY MORNING, and say ” Folks today we are having a “Come to Jesus” talk about service! ” I’ve never heard an elder say ” I am ashamed we are like this!” They are always soooo afraid of offending someone! Paul would have NEVER stood for the lazyness these elderships do. Another HUGE problem is that the 80% THINK they are active. They truely believe that attendance and an occational card to the sick person qualifies them as knowing what is going on in their congregation! When you talk to these people about real issues facing the Church, it is like beating your head against the wall! They think they know but because they have never attended any meeting..been involved in programs..tried to START a program (mercy me!) they cannot POSSIBLY know what is going on!
I write this partly to blow off steam and partly to let anyone who is “offended” by your article know that we 20% may just someday let those 4′s and 5′s sit in on your adult classes for an entire quarter then you’ll really have something to complaine about!
Well, I have found the direct approach will work…sometimes. Not a blanket “if anyone is interested in teaching please see so-and-so” but a direct will you teach the 5th grade for one quarter, please. However, it sounds like your wife has already tried that.
For all the ways that I am let down by my congregation they seem to do a pretty good job lining up teachers for the kids…..but I think the big turn around came when two of the elders wives who were former educators were placed on the education committee.
And I say this as lovingly as possible, your wife needs to learn to say no….
Jeff, a church has decided to handle this the direct route. Check out the manifesto at http://www.themeetinghouse.ca/believe_manifesto.php. We aren’t quite ready to go as far as they do, but I admire them for doing so.
It becomes really easy to identify those who are interested in true discipleship, and those wanting to get their ticket punched. One group is in it for religion, the other is in it because their hearts have been captured and they have decided to follow in His steps. Good luck brother!
DU
Man, am I glad we started teaching our 5th grade class two weeks ago. I would have had a huge guilt trip just reading this post if we hadn’t.
I know that our children’s minister was really anxious about filling up the teacher roster, and this is in a very active congregation, so the problem is pretty much universal, and long-standing. (Think of the lepers who all went their own way without thanking their healer, except for one. The ratio never seems to change much.)
The only thing I know to do is ask the Lord to send workers, for the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. If he sends them, wonderful. If not, maybe we need to look at other options, such as the kids being in the classes with adults, as was mentioned before!
Sad thing is that just about every church, no matter the size, has this problem. At Providence Road, we have a similar problem. Even though we are over 1000 members, we still have the same people involved. From a % standpoint, it might not be a whole lot better then what you have. It’s a problem that really faces every church I beleive.
I was just thinking that I probably need to do more (thanks for the guilt trip!!) however I am still waiting for the approval of my background check I submitted about 8 months ago. Ha! I knew I could find an excuse if I tried!!
Thanks for the good comments.
I certainly didn’t mean to lay a guilt trip on anyone. It’s just that this is a very frustrating situation. And it seems to be a common problem, judging from Don and Tim’s comments. The problem of involvement definitely needs to be addressed. This fall I’m going to be preaching a series on the the privileges and responsibilities of church membership.
Maybe it will do some good. But ultimately, people have to have the desire in their own heart to get involved.
Jeff I know what you meen. I have attended several different size churches and they all seem to average about the same. About the previou comment on teachers who may not have the talent but have the desire “God Bless those Servents”. We in the Church have held back way too long on the niceaties of letting people off the hook when it comes to serventhood. What happened to the person who had five talents he doubled them. I am not a giffted speaker like so many of the Meads I am realted to but that does not give me the excuse to not speak. We are told to go unto all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. He did not say let the preacher or mission workers go unto all the world he said go you! unto all the world. I am not a gifted speaker but I can and should do so. I can lead songs maybe not with the right pitch because I am tone deff but I can lead. God said sing songs and hyms and spritual songs. He also declared to make a joyful noise to the Lord. Many of you may not be perfect for song leading by the way that you sound but like me I can be joyful and trust me I can make noise, and I know all you out there can do the same. It’s time that Gods people start putting God back into the Bible studies and worship services again. No longer should we let ourselves or those around us off the hook any more by saying you are teaching others by your example and that thats ok if that is all they do. When God says go you! it means go YOU!. If it is because the 80% feel uncomfortable about doing certain parts I know and I can relate to it. I am very shy and like to listen more than to talk. But God said go YOU! therefor I am working on going. It is uncomfortable for me to do so, but God never intended it to be comfortable. After all look at how he lived and gave himeslf upon a tree. Jeff I love your honesty and sincertity keep it up. And I thank God for elders shuch as ours who dig deep into Gods word and put his word first before the feelings of mankind!