Written by What is it about some church members who think that the local church exists for THEM? Their attitude is “What have you done for ME lately?” instead of “What can I do to serve? What can I do to help? How can I contribute? How can I serve?”
These are the people who get all bent out of shape when things don’t go their way. They get upset and threaten to leave (and often do) if you don’t pay enough attention to them and don’t visit them often enough. If they miss a Sunday or two and no one calls or visits, they accuse the church of not caring for them.
Some church leaderships make a mistake by coddling these people, instead of confronting their self-centered attitude. When a person like this leaves our congregation to attend elsewhere, I am usually relieved. Nine times out of ten, the church will be stronger and healthier when they’re gone.
Am I off-base here? What can be done about these selfish malcontents? How should church leadership respond to them? How would Jesus respond to them?
Here’s a Great Video on the subject.
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Great video! The best resource I’ve found for dealing with “those people” is Antagonists in the Church by Kenneth Haugk. He identifies the red flags that church leaders need to be on the lookout for. We studied this book with our entire eldership and it helped us navigate through some troubled times.
Love em and bless them…..but let em go. They will be a cancer if they stay.
DU
When I feel discontent I am afraid I am being “that” person. But the reality is I am not looking at what church has done for me but what opportunities am I being given to worship from my heart, to serve my community, to be Jesus.
When people want more than that you must let them go.
Someone one asked if we’d had any responses that month. I replied, “Yes. We’ve had five blessed additions and four blessed subtractions!” If the church is to be what Jesus envisioned, those who think of it as a comfort station or as a social club for the religiously inclined will have to be left behind. Sad, but remember that whole “few there be that find it” thing?
Jeff,
Terrific post. What preacher hasn’t been there?
As I read your words, I thought that our traditional and current forms don’t help. Isn’t attending worship sort of like going to the movies? At least in a lot of places? With at least some people, sooner or later the experience of being passive leads to gripes.
My elders at Wallingford, CT would meet with every new member and say, “Welcome! We’re glad you’re here. What are you good at? What would you like to do?”
Jeff! We LOVE this video. IgniteMedia does such a great job! We though a lot about it last Sunday when the old guy in front of us was giving us dirty looks because Cooper was talking. The question is: how do you handle ME people without the support of the leadership?
You enlist the support of the leadership. I’m making plans to complete a study (with the elders) of the book that Mark mentioned in the first comment.
Thanks for stopping by!