Written by The FAX of Life by Rubel Shelly was excellent today. I’ve included it below. You can access the archives for The FAX of Life here.
Subject: Unbending Realities
Date: For the Week of February 21, 2005
Our self-indulgent culture is teetering on the brink of an important insight: We have been mistaken to reject our common-sense belief in right and wrong.
More than a quarter century ago now, some of our opinion leaders came up with the idea that tolerance is the single real virtue and that self-esteem is the most important element in child-rearing and education. That misguided notion was rooted, in turn, on the earlier thesis that there are no fixed moral standards that apply to all people everywhere and at all times.
With absolute standards abolished, all that mattered was acting with some degree of consistency with one’s culture when possible and always with a view toward personal self-realization and happiness. Everything from sexual behavior to spelling and grammar to corporate bookkeeping became “just your opinion.” And the uniform mantra for child-rearing and education was limitless praise.
Have we ever paid a price for traveling that path! Promiscuous sex, drug abuse, unlimited abortion rights, suicide — why not? It’s my body, and nobody can tell me what to do! Businesses producing child pornography, music to glamorize violence against women, and television to legitimate homosexuality — why not? There are groups that value such things, and it’s just terrible to be judgmental!
Religion has had very little credibility for stemming this tide. It discredited itself long ago with its abuse of power, hairsplitting judgments, and neglect of the very people with whose life circumstances Jesus was most directly involved.
So today every child athlete gets a ribbon; every adult athlete gets a pass for anti-social behavior. Fifth-graders all get smiley faces and As; every college student needs counseling for a D or red ink on a paper. Immature children are permitted to throw tantrums as self-expression; employees can’t understand why promotions and raises aren’t automatic. Could these things be connected?
Psychologists and educators who blazed the trail of boosting self-esteem and protecting children from failure are now reversing course. The unyielding realities of an adult world that requires showing up, doing real work, and being accountable have combined to pop the bubble of phony praise. Self-esteem really is important, but “Whatever you do is great!” is neither true nor helpful.
The answer isn’t cumbersome rules, hypocritical religion, and nitpicking morality. It is mutual respect among persons who see the image of God in one another and who create communities where right and wrong can be distinguished.
Good one Jeff! Gotta love Rubel! This topic has been on my mind lately. I think one of the reasons the church has been unsuccessful (to say the least) in influencing and turning the tide, is that the world is in the church. The line has been blurred and moved so much when it comes to what is acceptable in our culture and in our churches. If polled, how many in your congregation would agree that there are fixed moral standards that apply to all people and at all times?
I heard an elder’s wife in my congregation say she doesn’t believe that abortion is right, but under the right circumstances she would think it was acceptable. (examples – rape victims, or if her daughter was pregnant, and it was going to harm her life by proceeding with the pregnancy).
I know way too many people in the church that think it is unrealistic to expect our kids to save their virginity for marriage, yet spend a ton of money on True Love Waits curriculum and promise of purity rings.
Don’t even get me started on schooling. Our entire public school system is based on the theories of an atheist. At the beginnings of compulsory schooling there were parental uprisings everywhere. Now I get funny looks from church people when they hear that I’m a homeschooler. I’m not saying that homeschooling is or should be an absolute standard. I just think it’s one more way that the world is telling the church what to do and how to do it.
I sit in bible classes with people who don’t give money to the poor or the homeless because “they’re just going to go buy alcohol with it anyway”.
By protecting children from failure we cripple them because failure happens in REAL life. Self-esteem is not the issue, we have that in abundance. It’s self-respect and self-control that we’re lacking in.
I want to be a part of a community where right is right and wrong is wrong. Since when are we supposed to let the world decide who decides that? Even the church can’t be consistent with it.
Where is this utopia of mutual respect where people see the image of God in one another and create communitites where right and wrong can be distinguished? I believe the Bible says it starts in our HOMES! We have to start there or it will never reach the churches or the masses of the world.
That was a very good article.
I don’t think we are converting anyone over on Mike Cope’s blog today! Oh well, it’s their loss!
Go Jr.!
Rubel said..
Religion has had very little credibility for stemming this tide. It discredited itself long ago with its abuse of power, hairsplitting judgments, and neglect of the very people with whose life circumstances Jesus was most directly involved.
Hilbert says…This is typical Rubel. And he has no credibility with me. He will accept almost anything in order to appeal to the majority.
The proof is in the pudding Mr. Hilbert. No matter what you think of Mr. Shelley or his opinions, you cannot deny the blatant muck we are living in today. Please pull your head out of the sand and share something useful. Where do you think the church has been through all of this and what is their part of the resonsibility?
In the real world, nobody cares about your self-esteem. You are expected to accomplish something worthwhile BEFORE you have self esteem, and being able to fog up a mirror doesn’t count as something worthwhile. Rubel is right on.
I appreciate the comments. There’s nothing like quoting Rubel to generate some dialogue on my blog!
Jeff